Drawing a line about holidays

I’m feeling a little bit guilty. I have a Great-Aunt that was very close to my mom and I’ve tried to keep that perfect daughter/niece view alive but I’m floundering. This past year I’ve realized that though I love spending time with my family I want to start my own traditions.

So for thanksgiving I politely declined showing up to her house at 2pm. C and I have talked and we are spending Christmas Eve apart so we can see both our families. I got an email this weekend from Great-Aunt asking if we would be coming to Christmas Day dinner. I politely declined again because though I have always seen her both days, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, this year I want to spend Christmas Day in my pj’s with my dogs and C.

Is this wrong?

Why do I feel guilty for hurting her feelings? I’ve asked her multiple times to help me set up a time for lunch. She never responded. I know that I could be more aggressive. Does it have to come down to I’m a bad great niece because I want to spend Christmas at home?

You guys, I even emailed her and told her I don’t particularly enjoy the holidays. She never responded. Maybe it’s because she didn’t know what to say. Maybe she is hurt that I’m not coming over. I do not know.

Does this make me a bad person? My greatest fear is that my mom would be disappointed, but on the other hand I’ve always been independent and made my own decisions. She may not like what I’m doing but I think she’d understand. Right?


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