A bit serious for my taste

You know what’s a downer? Thinking about all the questions you really want/need to ask your mom and not being able to. Compound that with an impending mother’s day and it’s cause for a major downer.

My cousin T popped out her baby (um 30+ hours of labor mind you) last weekend. She always said she would never have kids but (in my mind) suddenly changed her mind. Which hey, that’s cool, no hate. It got me thinking IF I ever wanted to have kids I know almost nothing about my mom’s pregnancy except that it was hard and that she couldn’t have any more children.

I started making a list of people I can ask for their view of it but it’s never going to be as good as getting it from the source. Today I asked J about it. I learned somethings that, well, suck. She had high blood pressure and blood in her urine all through pregnancy and J thought they found what might be a cause for kidney problems. This conversation led to my mom’s actual kidney problems. The ones that led to her being on dialysis for 5+ years and having a kidney transplant that she enjoyed for 1.5 years before she developed cancer and became my angel when I was 21.

Oh yes, this is depressing.

Anyhow, J didn’t think my mom ever got the answer to what caused her kidney problems. My papa had cystic kidneys but that wasn’t what she had. At one point the doctor’s thought maybe it was her high blood pressure (which she developed during pregnancy) that damaged her kidneys but then it was ruled out. The bottom line is there was never an answer, just an odd situation. I remember my mom telling me that I wouldn’t have to worry about the kidney problems, but who knows. I’ve been tested and everything came back normal. That doesn’t mean in the years to come I won’t develop problems.

I didn’t plan for today’s post to be so depressing, but sometimes that happens. It actually leads into that I’m walking for the Detroit Zoo Kidney Walk on May 16th. I have a donation page and if you are interested in donating please let me know.

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