Pulling petals off a flower trying to get your way

In truth Oscoda isn’t where I spent my early childhood, that would have been at my Papa’s cottage in National City. Maybe it’s because I only have vague memories of Island Lake and going to my Great Granny’s and that’s why I don’t find it that special. Or maybe because it’s tarnished by events that happened in my teen years that I remember all to well. Regardless, my heart holds a special spot for Oscoda. Beginning more specifically Old Orchard Campground.

I’m not good at making friends. I’m ridiculously shy and I don’t break out of my shell until I get to know you. Every summer at Old Orchard I made a new friend. I became a part of a group. The friendships didn’t last after I went away to college but for those summers I didn’t feel awkward. You ran into some of the same people every year. Some you remembered, some you didn’t.

I’ll never forget being in the camp store and someone yelling my name. I turned around and stood face to face with a boy. And I asked, “Do I know you”. He told me his name and it came back to me but it was still a little funny that there had been so many people the summer before that I honestly couldn’t place him at first.

I used to want to live up there. I always wanted to live somewhere different. Looking back it’s probably because where I was I never felt like I fit in. Luckily, I had a couple close friends but never a group of people.

Years later I still find comfort in visiting. Every year LP and I decided we are going to go at least once. I love girlie weekend. It’s a time to destress and get away from daily life. We’re open to new people joining us. We can’t believe that for the second year it’s just the two of us. I’ll be doing a lot of paddleboating, canoing, drinking and bike riding. Don’t miss me too much (haha). I hope you have a fabulous weekend!

Shorty swing my way

I feel very blah and boring today. I don’t feel interesting or entertaining.

C’mon you know something’s wrong when I’m pretty sure last night when I met my mom’s friends for dinner the waitress was being extra friendly to me and I can’t even formulate a good story out of that. I don’t know if she swung that way or if she just found me interesting.

And the converstaions weren’t even out of the ordinary it was just a feeling I got, ya know? She told me I looked very ethnic and wanted to know my nationality. I think she would have kept asking me questions but M showed up late. Later she came to give us our bill and she was asking me about my wrist tattoo. There were a few other exchanges and she mostly only talked to me. I know, like I said it sounds like friendly chit chat, but I just got that feeling, ya know what I mean?

At least I thought she was pretty. Of course I came home and told C about it. His immediate response was, ‘oh really maybe we should go back up there.’ Men.

I made jello shots last night. Along with a little bit of a mess. Maybe I’ll try one out tonight and see how they came out. Haha. Lime with tequila and raspberry with vodka. Mmmmm. 25hours!!!!

I need to get to packing tonight. I am the worst overpacker. I just never know what I’m going to wear.

Can this seriously be true?

Guest post & anxiety

Speaking of sanctuaries, I would really love to hide away in one right now. Would someone like to explain to me why I’m having anxiety? My head tries to be logical but my stomach is in knots.

When I was little I used to get so excited for field trips and vacations I’d make myself sick. Thinking about it, maybe I still do it subconsciously. I’m WAY excited for this weekend. I’m stressing over little things that I know in my brain I need to just let go. Don’t borrow trouble, right?

Also, my Dad has been under a lot of stress and pressure trying to get his new school ready. On top of that he thinks he has pinched nerve in his shoulder that’s making his arm tingly. That really worries me. He says he’s fine and he’s had it before. And then he’s had a headache the last couple of days. Maybe it’s the change in weather or sinus’.

He’s so stubborn and won’t go to the doctor, probably because he doesn’t have insurance and he’s already having a hard time. But in the end that shouldn’t even be a factor. I just can’t help thinking that if anything happens to him I’ll be essentially an orphan. I mean I know I’m 27 but still, I’m an only child. I have no siblings and no aunts/uncles/family that I’m extremely close to (not saying that I don’t have family). It scares the bejeesus out of me.