Rage Blog

I recently had a dream that took me on a journey back to my youth, and I can’t wait to share it with you. In this dream, I found myself reliving the exhilarating experiences of my younger years, and it was nothing short of magical. Intriguingly, I recently stumbled upon a website called DreamVersatility, which specializes in dream interpretation.

The dream began with me standing in the middle of a bustling cityscape, but it wasn’t any ordinary city; it was a place that existed solely in my memories, a perfect amalgamation of all the cities I’ve ever visited and loved. The neon lights painted the night sky with vibrant colors, and the energy in the air was palpable.

I looked down at myself and noticed I was wearing the clothes of my youth—jeans, a vintage band t-shirt, and my trusty old sneakers. It was as if I had stepped into a time capsule and emerged as the 20-something version of myself.

Feeling the familiar rush of adventure, I decided to explore the city, just like I used to back in the day. I strolled through streets filled with street performers, bustling cafes, and quirky shops. The laughter of friends echoed in the background, and it felt like a reunion of my younger self with the people who had shaped my life.

One of the most surreal moments came when I found myself at a live music venue. The sound of the band’s guitar chords and the thumping of the drums filled the air, and I couldn’t resist the urge to join the crowd on the dance floor. It was like stepping back in time to my favorite concerts from my youth.

But the dream had more surprises in store. As I continued my journey through the city, I stumbled upon a park where I used to spend countless hours with friends. The park was bathed in the soft glow of fairy lights, and the atmosphere was enchanting. I reunited with old friends, reliving cherished memories and creating new ones in this dreamlike version of my past.

As the dream neared its end, I found myself atop a hill overlooking the city. The skyline was illuminated with fireworks, and I felt a profound sense of nostalgia and gratitude for the experiences that had shaped my life.

Waking up from this dream, I couldn’t help but reflect on how our past experiences continue to influence our present and future. It reminded me that the echoes of our youth, the memories we hold dear, and the friendships we cultivate are timeless treasures that stay with us throughout our lives.

This post is just a lot of mumble.

As much as I love the cottage, and I do adore it, it is making me fat. It’s hard to go grocery shopping for a couple days and we end up eating out. It’s actually pretty horrible. I’m trying to remedy the situation since we’ve decided to leave the fridge on since we are going up almost every weekend.

I’m falling off the fitness horse and it’s stupid scary.

In other news, I sparred with my dad last night and got a knee to my hip flexor. Though I’m not as sore as I was afriad I would be, it still hurts like a mother fucker. I also lost focus and slammed my heel into the base of the kicking bag. For the love of all things, *fist pump dude should not smell like he just took a bath in skittles. It’s distracting and someone I could hurt themselves myself. And seriously, it’s 87friggin degrees out. We are sweating our asses off how do you smell like candy?! Skittles…

Ok, moving on.

Yesterday was pretty fucked up kind of day. Michigan felt the tremors of an earthquake (I missed out on this) and there were some wicked storms that came through the area. Granted, they didn’t have anything on what Oklahoma or Kansas get but still. Armageddon, yo.

Did I tell you that I tried wakeboarding again last weekend? I haven’t been on the board in 2 years since I face planted in the water. C is ridiculous and makes that shit look easy. Fucker.

Clearly, I have a potty mouth today along with a lot of slang. I’ve got no excuse. All I know is…

I’m curious to know if you have a person in your life (a friend, relative, acquaintance) that consistently makes you feel like an airhead.  Not on purpose, maybe it’s just my perception of our conversation (even though they are for the most part online). I know I do and  I’m meeting him and his wife while they are in town this week.

I don’t know it’s just like every time I talk to him I read something wrong and respond in a ridiculous way.  I have a feeling this is because…

1. I met him when I was 18.  He is 4 years older than me.
2. We had some downright dirty IM chats for more than a year when I was a student worker.
3. He might have set it up (read called my boss and said he needed help) so I could go into an abandoned office to makeout with him.
4. When I moved back from Florida he became my boss.
5. He gave me a glowing recommendation when I found my current position.

Haha so funny.  Haven’t really thought about that in a long time.  While we are on the subject of old co-workers…

When we picked up the bunkbeds for the cottage it meant driving out to St. Claire Shores.  I haven’t been there since I stopped talking to JT.  JT and I met when at the beginning of freshman year of college.  We worked down the hall from one another as student workers.  We didn’t become closer friends until probably sophomore year.  Long story short we were always trying to get together in a normal relationship kind of way but the universe kept shutting us down.

Our first date was to meet a friend of mine in Canada.  We both got pretty buzzed (when he woke up with a hangover the next day his dad commented that maybe he shouldn’t have drove home…lol) but he refused to kiss me when I dropped him off at his car on campus.  Confused, he later told me because he didn’t want our first kiss to be like that.

I’d have a boyfriend so he would back off and remained friends.  Sometimes it was harder than others but we never hooked up while either of us was in clear relationship status.

I’d take a break from the boyfriend and we would pick back up with the flirting, stealing kisses in empty offices, having sex on a desk after everyone had left for the day (you’ve done that right?!)

This went on for 3-4 years.  We just couldn’t get it to work.  There were a lot of parties, shared cigarette breaks, he was the one I needed a hug from when my mom passed away.  I still remember him opening his arms up to me in the hallway of our office.  We watched each other grow.

We had another co-worker, HP  (6 years our senior), that sat through our little escapades a lot and offered advice.  In her words she was like our big sister <— keep this in mind for the twist in my story –

I met C and we moved to Florida after graduation.  At my first job I had AIM and would chat with my former co-workers.  To this day I can’t put together why I pushed JT on his friendship with HP.  I even went so far as offering the solution of them moving in together because they both wanted to move out.  I kept pushing trying to find out what was going on.  I think deep down I knew they were dating, how I knew is a mystery.

When Florida didn’t work out and I came home, they were dating.  To make it even more awkward, I found out through someone else.  And to add to it, I had taken a temporary position in the same department.

HP was no longer my “big sister”.  She was awkward and rude to me.  I hadn’t done anything.  To this day I can only think that her pushing me away had to do with her guilt.  I found a job 3 months later. After a year or so I emailed her asking if we could do dinner to catch up.  She replied she was going on vacation and she’s get in touch with me when she got back.  She didn’t.

She got deployed and I heard rumors that were confirmed that her and JT had gotten married before she left.  This was 4 years ago.  I’m over the hurt I felt, the betrayal and the shunning. A piece of me still wants to reach out, make peace and catch up. She was a huge part of my life.

What would you do? Let it go? Put yourself out there and send an email?

I’m still feeling really crappy with a cold I’ve been trying to fight off. I was going to do multiple posts but I’m so excited about this weekend that I think I’m going to cram it all into one. So you’ve been warned 🙂

Saturday morning was my last aerial yoga class of the session and I probably won’t sign up for another one until the fall (if I have the money). I adore it, if you can’t tell by how much I talk about it. I did a whole trick that included a drop (that I may have made me scream as a fell). In case you care, diaper stag – swingset – locust – forward drop – hip something.

Saturday night I attended the best wedding reception ever! It was held at the Henry Ford Museum. It felt like I was in a movie at fancy, classy party. More importantly, since we had the whole museum to explore with an open bar it was easy to escape having to talk to family! Though my drunk relatives were pretty entertaining. This includes Maeko, who I didn’t even get a picture with because I only saw her twice in 5 hours! Her dress was absolutely gorgeous and very Mae. Here are a few of my favorite pictures, please notice beer on the rosa parks bus – FTW

Sunday was the Detroit Zoo Kidney Walk. My Dad, LP, C and I walked around the zoo. The weather was beautiful and it was nice to spend time with them.

Some birthdays are more memorable than others. This year my birthday started a full 4 days beforehand and was one that I will always remember.

Though a d-bag co-worker told me that I’m not living my life as a 20-something, as I’m not having enough fun. He says that I’m more of a 30-40 year old. What?!

And a more positive story… at taekwondo we got 2 new students. One being a 20 year old guy (“21 in a couple days” *pumps fist). I didn’t talk much to him but another student asked where he was going to college and he asked us both where we went. I replied WSU but I had graduated. He’s congratulated me thinking I had just graduated. I smiled and thanked him and told him I had been out of college for 5 years now. His eyes might have bugged out of his head. He didn’t think I was a day over 23. Woot! I won’t even tell you I got carded for tobacco 2 weekends ago…

…That C has been having extreme shoulder/neck/back pain for the past 2 weeks. He went to the doctor and was prescribed vicodin which hasn’t helped with the pain. So he went back to the doctor’s today and they gave him stronger (scary) meds, ordered a CT scan and think he might need physical therapy.

….This means I haven’t slept consistently at night for over 2 weeks because he’s constantly tossing and turning.

…I have my final tonight and I’m SO glad. This class has been a nightmare. No direction but homework and final projects are expected to be done and handed in. I didn’t learn anything except that I can somehow manage to grasp enough knowledge to pass the 2 tests we had. Please cross your fingers I can pass the final tonight!

…I started making cookies last night. I need to make at least 4 more batches. I’m not sure where the time for that is going to be though.

…I’m excited about getting cupcakes with Ashalah tomorrow!

…I had a dream I was hanging out with a blogger from New York last night. It seemed really real. Is that weird?

…Speaking of dreams, I have a recurring dream about the same person and we are repeating the same situation every dream. The only things that changes are some of the dialogue and the setting. It’s realistic and the setting reflects the time of year and things that are currently going on in my awake life. It is truly bizarre.

This past weekend I did something I haven’t done since I was a child. I went to the sub-wide garage sales around my house. I used to go every summer with my Grandma. She would give me, LP and AP a couple dollars in quarters and off we’d go.

Since buying our cottage we’ve needed little things like tables, glasses and odds and ends and I figured that going to some garage sales would be perfect. JP came with me and scored some cool stuff while I feel in love it with it all over again. I spent $36.50

shelf – $4
lamp – $4
table – $2
glider – $15
Drink Sign – $1
5 Glasses (in plastic bag) – .25
Comforter – $2
Blanket – $3
Cabinet – $5
Liko – not included 🙂

Friday night we made the 3 hour trek up north, which ended up taking closer to 4 hours because of the torrential downpour. We picked up LP while I had a panic attack from hell the whole ride up there. It was truly awful. LP and C are two peas in a pod. She’s become good friends with C over the years and they can both put down some beer. They drank a 12 pack Friday night in a couple hours when we first arrived. It would have been more but C wasn’t thinking and when they finished those all the stores were closed.

Saturday began with a frantic search for coffee only to find that the town was out of power (not us thankfully). Burger King was open so we stood in a relatively short line for a long amount of time. When we got back around 11 there was a 24 case of beer and shitload of floor tiles and paint calling our names. C started on the floors while LP and I painted the last bedroom (a blue that I later decided is WAY too dark, but I don’t want to redo it!).

We finished somewhere around 12:30am. So 13.5 hours and 36 beers later (I didn’t have any and they had to get another 12 pack) the living room, 1 bedroom and kitchen were tiled and the last bedroom was painted. Without LP we wouldn’t have gotten so much done. The joke was C is a Union worker, taking as many breaks as possible or getting distracted by shiny objects. LP and I on the other hand are immigrant workers or woman…who just want to get shit done.

I moved the furniture around a bit so if you are in a reader, you may want to come check out the new design. The next item on my blog agenda is to update my “in my reader” section. Some of you have cute little buttons that I will be sure to grab when I get around to it.

I’ve really been working for the weekend. I’ve lost about 90% of my motivation to do anything that is not cottage related. I just want it to be comfy, cozy so we can start having people come up with us. Which is weird because when we bought our house I didn’t feel like that at all. I mean yes, I wanted to get the little cleaning and painting we needed done but we aren’t big on having people over. Clearly, I wasn’t born a hostess. Our basement is still a wreck from when it flooded in April.

I guess it’s because our house, to me, will always be a work in progress while the cottage there is an end. At least there are certain projects that need to be finished before the start of summer or June 1st, whichever comes first.

We are going to home depot tonight to look for cheap flooring (yay!) and then I’m going to make some vegetable noodle soup and grilled cheese for dinner on this rainy, chilly day.

I’m a pretty confident girl. Sure, I have my days where I feel disgusting but for the most part I don’t complain. Of course I check out other girls but I never feel a real jealousy. I think she’s pretty and move on, we all have our positive attributes.

With the exception of this one girl. I don’t even know her, she’s an ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend/fiance and every time I see her picture my confidence deflates. (Thank you Facebook!) I know how ridiculous this sounds. Believe me. She’s the kind of girl that makes me want to starve myself and eat a container of chocolate chip cookies simultaneously to make myself feel better.

Since I have no willpower to give up food, I usually end up doing the latter. She’s tall (5′9) and slender, something that I will never, ever be. Clearly, by now I’m done growing topping off at 5′3 and I’m not built to be slender. I’d classify myself as athletic and not just because I play sports. She’s probably graceful and not a huge klutz like me. You get the picture…

I guess on the bright side whenever I’m feeling way too happy or good about myself , I know how to get rid of my big head.

Do you ever feel this way? Why? Who? I’m not the only one, right?

These past couple of Mondays have been awful for me. Today I’m blaming it on the fact I haven’t slept well. I’ve been dreaming like I’m watching tv. I don’t know the people in my dreams and it’s just life that’s going on. Last night was all about this woman getting married on the beach. I don’t even know, it was boring but I couldn’t “change the channel or turn it off”. I’ve also been running around since Friday and I don’t think my mind ever had a chance to unwind.

If you follow me on twitter you might have saw my annoying tweets about not going to taekwondo and then yes I am going. I called my dad to tell him I wasn’t going to make it but then was filled with this shame, like I was being a disappointment for not going. After a half an hour of feeling like I made the wrong decision I called him back and said I was coming in.

I test in 12 days! I have to get 6 photos to turn in with my 1st degree application. I will be considered a weapon. Heh, me a weapon.

I worked from home on Friday. I think I actually worked harder on Friday than during the week because I not only worked for work but I cleaned the bathroom, did laundry, dishes, ran to target and made it to taekwondo. It was crazy. I got up at 9 and didn’t sit down until 4 to watch Lady Gaga on Oprah and then left to go to taekwondo. I’m tired just thinking about my Friday.

Saturday was a lot of errand running after I got my ass kicked at sparring.

And Sunday, oh Sunday. I met up with Ginger Mandy and Sarah for our first aerial yoga class. It was so much fun! I can’t wait to go back next week. And these ladies are all kinds of awesome.