I have no clue what day it is

I really like my job most of the time.  I get to learn new things break websites and then teach myself how to fix what I just broke.  Maintaining and updating other people’s code makes for good learning.  There is this one designer who had her head up her ass and since she left and I’ve been maintaining, updating, FIXING her code I’ve definitely learned what not to do EVER.  (ex. hard coding the navigation on EVERY page in a 5,000 page website…ok not 5,000 pages but it seems like that many.  virtual includes people)  Anyhow…

So I have a project list, not quite as extensive as the developers, cuz you know that’s not my job.  But I have this list and it’s keeps growing.  Then I have all this crap sitting in folders that needs to be done.  I’m waiting for content or a file (ahem…Keith). 

Then I have to answer phones for another department while they are on lunch and the calls are interrupting my train of thought.  And I think that my head might explode because all I wanted to do was knock out some work so it was more ankle deep, than you know, shoulder deep.  Are you following me?  No.  I don’t blame you cuz I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about either.  (Get to the point)

I was stupid busy yesterday & I didn’t have any time for my blog (boo!).  That is all.

OMG moving on…

So you know I’m leaving to go up north this weekend…SO EXCITED…especially because we are taking the doggies.  Gosh I can’t wait to see them in the water.  They know when they get to go on vacation.   Last week I knew I needed to get them pet tags (I know we are bad canine parents, they don’t have any).  According to The Dog Whisper’s newsletter, the statistics of a dog being returned to an owner is only about 10-12%.  Isn’t that sad?  I’ve been wanting to get them id tags for a long time now and our trip made me realize I had to get them NOW.

Lost inside my head

First thank you all for the birthday wishes and for making me feel more comfortable with my new hair color.  I feel like I made a good choice.

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If you’ve been reading my blog for the last year or so you know that last June I was a bit of an emotional mess.  I had a lot going on.  So tell me, is it possible that a year later when I’m more stable, I can conjure up the same anxiety I had back then?  Does that even make sense?

It started yesterday after forgetting to set my alarm.  I had to literally jump out of bed.  I felt like I never got a chance to wake up and went through the day in a haze.  It was a deja vu feeling of last year and it left me unsettled.   I’m still suffering a little from the after effects but they are just lingering.  Though I have lost my appetite again.  Boo!

I don’t ever want to be in that place again.

In other news:

  • My eyes have been itching like crazy.  My poor left eye hurts from me rubbing it so much.  Anyone have any ideas about how to make this stop?  I’ve taken some claritin but it doesn’t help much.
  • My best friend is moving back to Michigan at the end of July.  I’m super excited but she’s going to be 5 hours away from me.  I guess it will give me a place to visit.  Positive thoughts, right?
  • I have a work project that is intimidating the shit of out of me.  I need to just start it already.

And how has your week been going?

Here’s to a fabulous weekend

This week couldn’t have felt longer. Mostly because of all the awesomeness planned for this weekend. Seriously. I don’t usually have lots of plans and when I do I most certainly am not excited for weekends packed with events but I think I’ll make an exception for this weekend. Three reasons:

Red Wings Game 7
Pretty new hair
Birthday Celebrations

We are going to Andrew’s on the Corner to watch the game tonight. I can’t even begin to imagine how cool it will be down there if the Wings win the Stanley Cup. Alternately, I can’t don’t want to imagine what it will be like if they don’t.

Tomorrow I’m getting my hair did. Something bold and new. So totally not me but I’m hopefully going to rock it.

And then we are going out for dinner and drinks to celebrate another great year. I’m going to be 27. It’s crazy it feels like I was just 23!

Sunday I’m not sure about. I’d like to do something since it’s my actual birthday. I think it will be nice to do something low key with C and the dogs. Maybe a little BBQ. Last year C took me horseback riding, maybe we can do that.

And Monday…well we’ll see.

I wish they would just stop asking

I have a pretty long commute which leads my mind to wander. Sometimes I make up stories and conversations in my head (this is normal right? right!) and others I ponder life questions.

Yesterday I got to thinking about children, which isn’t surprising since I’m at the age where some of my friends are starting families. I was never the little girl dreaming about my wedding dress, actually my friends (you know who you are!) and I were the ones making our Barbies have sex, not get married. Sure I played house but honestly how realistic is that? Maybe I just don’t have that nurturing gene.

Is that something that you always have or is it something you acquire as you get older, like wisdom?

It’s weird right now, there is a huge gap between the friends that have families and the ones still trying to find their way. Like always, I feel like I’m in the middle. Yes I’m married and have a house but there are no plans for the pitter patter of feet now or maybe ever.

I came to the conclusion in my car that I am just beginning to find myself, to feel comfortable in my own skin. I have no inkling to want to change that. For the first time in my life I feel that I am where I need to be. I fell into a job that I actually enjoy (really I fell into it and I always thought people were full of shit when they said that) and I feel like I’m almost to the point of being able to express myself without a second thought of what anyone else thinks (for better or for worse).

Why would I want to change that? And if I’m not fully comfortable with myself, how would I ever care for a child? Not to mention I like being able to do things on my time. Shooooooooooooooot, I get crabby sometimes having to figure out my schedule according to C’s, cuz you know we do have 3 dogs that need caring for.

I also want to be able to spend money (somewhat) frivolously on dying my hair, clothes, patio sets and travel instead of formula and diapers.

When people say that they are ready to start a family I feel odd. Am I missing something? Obviously I have different priorities and there is no right or wrong answer. I’d like to wear a sign that says ‘please don’t ask me when I’m having kids’, we are sick of being badgered. It’s like we’ve been married for 2 years so the next thing is a family. Please. There is so much out there to discover. It may be rude, but kids right now would just hold us back.

If we decide to have kids that is way down the road. I’m sure I’ll be at least 35, which is crazy because that means that my best friend’s kid will be 8 and A’s kids will be 11 and 8. So crazy.

Monday can be over now

I need a break from work, so I’m going to bullet my weekend. I know you are totally like, ’sweet, thanks for telling me that’.

  • Tae Kwon Do tournament Saturday
    • It was an hour behind, I was one of the first events. I was there from 10am-6pm. That made me crabby
    • I went for a jog at 8am. I suck at jogging that early
  • Grocery shopping
  • I had to get up at 6:30am on a Sunday
  • Kidney Walk at the Detroit Zoo
      • we got some free food but there was no coffee
      • The polar bears were quite active
      • The sun was shining but the wind was chilly
      • I finally got to give M her birthday present & hold her 3yrold hand
    • Hanging out with my dad, C and my closet friends
  • Went to see IC’s dad in the hospital, pray for him please. He’s been unconscious for over a week now
  • He was at the same hospital that my mom was at so it was a little hard for me
  • Watched the Wings Game! 5-2 Wings!!! W00T!
  • Got sucked into a Lifetime Movie

I’m defintely not ready for it to be Monday!  Especially when it seems like everyone and their mom was working over the weekend.  Geez my inbox is a little overloaded!  Not to mention those same people are blowing up my phone.  Leave me alone!  Also, a meeting from 1-3 makes me crabby.

Hope you are having a better Monday!

Saving you is not heroic

Ok Girls and Boys (mostly girls). Here is another post where I go on a rant. I can cuz you know this is my blog and all. I hope I won’t offend anyone but sometimes I need to get some shit off my chest. I recently read this and wanted to throw something at my computer screen.

Someone I know had wrote something along the lines of this…

My hero is Blah Blah Blah (insert name of significant other) he/she will save me.

You are fucking moron. What are you a five year old that needs fucking training wheels for life? You can’t stand on your own two feet, you have to depend on your significant other to save you from your fucking self? Grow the fuck up and take responsibility for your actions. For the things you do and don’t do. Don’t sit there and tell me it’s your significant other that keeps you in check, keeps you sober, keeps you alive*. Fuck you, you idiot.

God is hero
Someone in military is a hero
Parents are heroes

People have to do something heroic to be a hero. And keeping you in line is not heroic. Grow up! It’s not cute any more. Who would you be without your significant other? Do you need them to remember how to breathe? I can’t stand couples where you can’t tell where someone ends and the other begins.

I had this same vile reaction last summer when someone said to me “if it wasn’t for you C would end up just like ***”. If it wasn’t a funeral I would have responded with, “He is his own person. He doesn’t need me to be better. He can do that on his own. I don’t own him, I don’t tell him what to do and I sure as hell am not saving him from himself. I’m not arrogant enough to want to have that responsibility. We are responsible for ourselves and the actions we take.”

/*end rant/

*I should mention that the person in question is healthy and stable. They for some reason thinks it’s poetic to think that they can’t be complete alone and they need someone to save them from themselves. Sorry buddy but I think you are just pathetic. The whole situation is pathetic.

This friday’s fitness plan

I am the biggest dork ever. Really. So we are under a winter storm warning and it had been snowing all day so I work early and gave up plans on going to tae kwon do. BOO!

I promised myself that I would work out. So when I got home I vacuumed up all the dead ants (ants you say? yeah fucking big carpenter ants that are raining on my ‘owning a house’ parade. terminix is coming out tomorrow) and moved some furniture around. Then I put on some workout pants and began with my tkd warm-ups and stretches.

I should probably mention that I’ve also cranked my running playlist on our awesome new home theater sound thingy (C makes fun of me for calling it a sound system) that has a dock for your ipod. I did some situps and pushups on our exercise ball and then for 45 minutes I jumped around non-stop.

Jumped around is kind of a general term. I was boxing, kicking, pole (no I don’t have an actual pole) club dancing, 80’s dancing. It was seriously a good time. I made sure to pull down all the shades so in case my neighbors walked by they wouldn’t see me. We only met one neighbor and I don’t think I want the others to know think we are crazy yet 🙂

My house is set up kind of cool. The kitchen and living room are connect on both sides so I ran some laps and the dogs chased me. I haven’t had so much fun working out in a long time. And let me tell you 45 minutes of constantly moving is tiring and believe me I sweated so it counts as a workout.

I enjoy being drama-free

I am a drama-phobe. I hate drama. I hate being in the middle.

I don’t want to give details but I jokingly told A not to have B call me when when B can’t find you because I get worried. A took it literally and told B not to call me anymore. Seriously? So when I called B to confirm that A was fine she was short with me and I knew exactly what happened.

I knew this was going to eat at me all day. B was worried about A and she had every right to call me. So I called B and left her a voicemail because I just want everything to be out in the open. No he said she said crap. I hope that was the right thing and she doesn’t think I’m an idiot.

(I know this probably makes no sense but I needed to get it off my chest)

Smile it’s friday

Phew it’s finally Friday!  I don’t know what my problem is.  I had Tuesday off and this week still seemed SO long!  How was it for you?  It’s been relatively quite here in Ria-land.  I have something to share and  I know some of you are anxious for me to blog about it (you know who you are hehe).  If you know me IRL or are friends with me on Facebook, you know what I’m talking about.  But until I have some pictures you will have to wait.  Muhahahaha (did I do the evil laugh right?)

Here are some bullets for you:

  • I finished reading Twilight and am going to buy New Moon hopefully today at lunch.  I have to say it’s a good read.  It definitely touches the teenage part of me that I will probably never outgrow.  🙂  Oh fairytales.
  • I know what I’m getting C for Christmas and it’s on sale but I have no time to get over there so it’s kind of stressing me out.  How are you guys doing with your holiday shopping?
  • I have next Friday off so I guess that’s when I’ll be doing most of my baking.  I’m excited to have a whole day for it.  MMMM cookies!

Can we say addict?

Seriously those were the hardest 5 days of my life. I literally would see something and want to twitter about it. And then I’d realize that I didn’t have my laptop and I forgot how to do it by phone. I had tons of little stories I couldn’t wait to blog about. I have a little notepad in my purse but do you think I wrote anything down?! NO! WTF is wrong with me?

Even as we departed for the airport at 4am in the morning I looked longingly at my laptop and asked C if I should take it. He told me no. He doesn’t understand the connection (healthy or not) I have with the interwebz. C’mon it’s like cutting me off from civilization. C likes to talk on the phone, I do not.

Well let’s correct that, there are certain people I will jump over couches and chairs to talk to on the phone. But the majority of my communication is through email, texting and my blog. Even twitter! I didn’t even understand twitter when it first came out but now I look forward to opening it.

I know I’m sick! Don’t judge me.

We were even going to go to the public library and I couldn’t get out of the car fast enough. C asked what my hurry was. Hello! What you can’t see my hands aching to type on a keyboard?! Alas, they were closed 🙁 I saw signs for the library in Clearwater but we were on our way to an art fair and C couldn’t wait to get to the beach so I had to push the urge to check my email aside. (it was hard let me tell you)

I’m hoping to upload some pics of the sunshine tonight. I know I suck at bringing it home with me.

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